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Luke 14:26

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 26 "If any man comes to me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters — yes even his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.3 [You must value the approval of the Lord far more than the approval of your family that will likely strongly oppose your obedience to some of the Lord's commands to you. You must mourn your compulsive anger, lust, emotions, and selfishness enough to hunger to be different: at peace, able to truly love, virtuous, without anger, without lust, and pleasing to your creator; if you don't hate your life, you don't have the motivation to bear the inward cross of self-denial.]

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3 If any man comes to me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters — yes even his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. A man must want to please God more than to please his wife, children, friends, etc.; otherwise that man cannot be a disciple of Jesus. A man must want the approval of God more than the approval of men, particularly your family. Do not ignore a command from the Lord because your family disapproves of your obeying it; if you do, you risk not hearing anything further from Him.

Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not came to bring peace, but a sword.
For I have come to set a man at variance against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter in law against her mother in law.
A man's foes shall be those of his own household.
He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
He who does not take his cross, and follow after me, is not worthy of me. Mat 10:34-38
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(To follow after Him is to expose yourself to the Lord's commands and then obey Him; to obey all of his commands, you must love the Lord more than you love your family; so, despite their opposition, you obey his commands — that is following Him.)

A man must hate his own life too, or he will not be able to lose it, or be a disciple of Jesus. When you are a true seeker of God, denying your former evil activities in the world, (including the deficit sects), the basis of your friendships will diminish. As you deny foul language, revelry, drinking, carousing, etc., your friends and family will become uncomfortable and begin to attack your commitment to goodness. If you and your spouse have been attending a deficit sect, your spouse may become your worst enemy, leaving you or threatening to leave you. Your family will be used to attack you; they will be your worst enemies. This is part of the cross, to suffer from your family's opposition. But this forces you to have patience, forgive, have mercy, love, and live by faith. From the Word of the Lord within: "after a man has demonstrated his faith, do I give him peace."

When someone becomes convinced of the true hope, the true gospel, and the only way; and when they leave their deficit sect, several of their spouses have threatened to leave, a few even leaving. Most spouses get over their opposition and have even heard from the Lord of their spouse's correct seeking of Him. The Lord has no desire to destroy a marriage, so things usually work out; but it is a painful trial at least. The maxim of the world in negotiation is: the party that is afraid of losing a negotiation is the party that loses. Count the costs, and be ready to forsake anything and everything of your former life.

You must hate your selfish, prideful, emotional life enough to hunger to be different: at peace, able to truly love, virtuous, without anger, without lust, and pleasing to your creator. In the beginning of your searching for God, you will not be aware of how evil your life really is until God shows you the extent of your evil behavior. The more you learn about evil in yourself, the more you learn to hate evil. To become a saint, you must learn about the evil in yourself and how the whole world is immersed in sin. To hate your life increases your motivation to bear the cross. If you don't hate your life, you don't have the motivation to bear the inward cross of self-denial. Only a man who hates all evil is entrusted with true treasure for to hate evil means after you have been freed from sin, you would not ever be attracted to it again. The more your learn about the evil in yourself, the more repelled by evil you become; and when you are repelled by evil, you naturally gravitate to the goodness of God.

Once you have found the true way of the cross, it is still too hard for many to travel; so few will enter the narrow gate. It is not easy to lose your life. It is not easy to persistently and patiently sit in humble silence and wait on God as you listen, watch, and then obey completely. It is not easy to look at your will and what is in your heart as the Lord shows it to you. To be successful, first you have to have been drawn in love; you cannot come to the Lord and suffer through the cross just to avoid Hell. From the Word of the Lord within: "People can't come in fear; they have to come in love;" the Father has to have drawn you with a revelation that instills a hunger in you for more because the love of God and hunger for more-of-Him is the only lasting motivator. Those who have not been drawn by God with a spiritual experience that gives you a taste and hunger for more, you must turn from evil as best you can, distribute liberally to the poor, and pray to God to give you that experience, promising in return that you will seek Him with your best effort. Even after being drawn and given the hunger, many cannot bear the cross to the end because they love their life too much to let it all go. So count the costs before beginning, and be sure you are willing to give all, if and when ordered.

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